Weekend again

Another Sunday morning. Now that I have a better computer, it's nice to hit up coffee houses again and relax a bit before getting the 8am subway back home. Tonight is great/good TV:
True Blood, Curb, and some kind of bad but entertaining reality shows. I'll see if I'm still functioning at 10pm, it's unlikely.

Last night was difficult and long. But so dead, hardly anyone calling, TG. Seriously. If it had been slammed, I don't know what I would have done, probably cried blood or something.

It's a very Pacific Northwest kind of morning out here. Foggy and smells a little like chimey smoke and pine. It's nice. Kind of makes me want to move further up north to Washington, in a fantasy kind of way.

I was looking at bigger apartments last night; and even though my apt now is so small, I think it suits my needs just fine. The location and safety of the neighborhood is pretty prime, too. I could find a 1 bedroom but having to compromise safety isn't really worth it.

The endless supply of wackos and psychos in SF is a given, at this point, but at 7:36am on Sunday morning? Can it just rest for one fucking minute? It's so GD annoying. And frightening.
I guess even creepers wake up early for their coffee.

I think I'm going to wait til after the New Year to go back East. I don't really want to take vacation, then be asked to cover holidays I'm not even scheduled to be working. And I hope I'm not asked to cover anything I'm not on the schedule for. My schedule gives me Christmas Day
and New Year's Day off, which is good b/c I worked every single holiday last year. It's not really that bad or unpleasant, just quiet. Commuting to work on New Year's Eve was horrible, the subway was over maximum capacity, full of crazies and people who like to pre-game before their big night out.

Almost time to go home and watch movies, and do nothing at all. I'm looking forward to it.
My sister called me last night: I really don't know how to feel about talking to her. Sometimes I think it's better for my sanity to not speak to her at all, but I have a heart and feel bad. Problem is, she doesn't have much of anything resembling a heart. That's kind of a bad thought there, but it's true. It's the reason she never seemed to apologize about things like not paying the insurance on our mother's car when I was driving it to school, and it was impounded. I was left by the cops on the side of a highway restaurant. Or cutting me out of a full inheritance she had kept for me in trust. Not sure why my other sister just didn't keep the whole thing. Or why I ever saw a bank statement or I don't know, was presented with some options about investing or things like that. The guy who managed the money is a douche bag friend of my sister's felon ex-husband. It's so awful and white trash. I think it's funny to her. Or maybe her mind is so shot to hell she doesn't know what is acceptable and what is not anymore. I could wax on for years about this and how many ways I've been hurt. I try to take responsibility for my bad decisions, too, though.
It's a no win kind of thing.

I watched the movie 'Pi' yesterday for the first time, after years of always wanting to see it. It was really good, too, in a strange kind of way. I noticed too, that the old weirdo on the subway who sings to the lead character is the same old weirdo from the subway in Black Swan. Black Swan seemed a lot like Pi. I want to try and find Requiem for a Dream.

I guess everyone is waking up in the city now. I kind of want to stay for awhile and keep writing. Sometimes going home right away to sleep isn't beneficial. Ten minutes and then I'll go.

Winding down isn't too bad. I couldn't face Starbucks this morning, sometimes the yuppified
sheen glistens too bright in there. I'm hoping Resident Evil is on at some point either today or tomorrow. I never saw the whole thing, but ended up watching it 2 nights ago and it was pretty good.

You could spend a lot of time trying to think about why people do what they do or what makes them do evil. That sounds kind of basic or scary, but why can't they just say no. Is it just a simple lack of conscience or what.

**side note: hangover food of choice still greasy eggs, cheese, and butter on a big bagel full of liquor absorbing carbohydrates. I'm observing this behavior in 2 youngish guys who seem
punchy-drunk and are dressed near identical to each other.**

Just about time to go. The lights are becoming too bright, I need sleep. Buenos noches.