Pod People

I'm charging my batteries before work tonight w/ usual coffee and internet. I feel like I have to be careful of internet overload, though. I have almost 8 hours of internet at work, plus work, so it's easy so kind of OD on it. Sometimes I can't just sit around at my apartment til 9pm. I usually have good luck w/ AC Transit, but every now and then they fail me and I end up walking to the subway, which is a scary, kind of long and dark walk through an urban-brush-jungle and some dim-lit corners.

I have a ticket back to Newark Intl Airport and am going to book my hotel tomorrow. Kind of internally groaning since I get paid and have been so, so, so broke, but it'll be worth it. Found a cheap place in Midtown that seems very clean and has a good reputation, and shared bathrooms.
3 days for about 570. So there goes half my paycheck. Then after bills, I'm broke again. There's a lot of things I need to do before I go back: get new glasses, which is another $400, then some mature clothing that is age appropriate for 29 year old women. I feel like, at times, I dress much the same as I did at 20 years old. I need a nice button down winter coat, too, and must ditch the subterranean puffy jacket I wore last year.

It's still 2 months away, though. Work is same as usual this week. Taking the subway is horrible. I never feel as uncomfortable as I am on the subway, mixed together with a bunch of strangers on an underground train. Just part of urban life, but not the greatest part.

I've been watching some depressing movies the past 2 evenings: Sylvia, about Sylvia Plath, and then House of Sand and Fog, which was horribly, horrendously depressing. I caught the end, which was the worst part. Ben Kingsley is such a great actor that I'll watch anything he is in, though. I saw a movie about 3 years ago with him and Penelope Cruz called Elegy, which was lovely.

I'm thinking that I should dye my hair a lighter color, maybe red. I feel like sometimes I do the same thing all the time and that's bad, like I need to get in the now, the 2011 now. Then I remember I'm usually kind of financially strapped and get lazy. I don't know.

It's pretty much officially Fall now. Halloween right around the corner. Thankfully I have Halloween evening off. I wish I wasn't so stuck sometimes; like I had a nice warm place to go home to, a mom or dad to talk to. It's still such a bad, big gaping hole I don't think it will ever really not be there, hollow and full of pain.

My hand is still a little swollen after the laser treatment. I had to drain more fluid this evening, which is barbaric and a little grotesque, but that's kind of like my thing, I guess. It's all very involved, sterilizing needles and DIY drainage! Yea! Actually, more like no....no. no. It doesn't look very different, maybe a tiny bit lighter. The whole fading process will take some time, probably over 8 months.

I always get a little wary of the loose cannon types of invade the coffee houses of SF, specifically the Mission. As long as you don't make eye contact, youe're ok, usually. If there is even a nanosecond of eye contact, they will attack you with their craziness and say something really embarrassing. It's happened to me before, but not in awhile, since I left the Mission. I don't miss it here. On the 14 bus tonight, I sat behind a woman in dirty clothes, eating an enormous cob of greasy corn, the kind that comes on a stick. Then another woman with a bunch of luggage that looked like newspaper and bandages all over her hands sat down. Bus police all over the place, busting people who don't pay the fare. Bad smells and a lot of midwestern young kids who are so trendy it's painful to look at. No, thanks.

Here's hoping tonight isn't too bad. I would say what the yuppies out here say, "cheers!", if it didn't make me sound like a pretentious douche bag. Adios.