Last night was long and I spoke to some very rude and stupid people. And some nice and unfortunate people. Kind of par for the course, I suppose. Now it's over and I'm off, TG. All you can do is try your best.

I'm extremely unhappy w/ having 200 USD taken out of my checking account from MyLife.
I'm smart enough, or was smart enough, not to sign up and pay for shady shiz on the www, but now and again, your curiousity is piqued or you get lonely or whateva, right? So I decided to pay about 13 USD for a 1 month trial and look up some people I haven't seen in years.

Cue to astonishment over them almost immediately, as in, the second I put my card numbers in and hit 'done', taking 200 out of my account. I was flabbergasted. I also had to wait until 6am to get an explanation from customer service. They answered right away, but it seemed a little too easy. The girl asked for my email, zip code, and that was it, and was like, poof, your refund is done. I'm hoping that in 7-10 business days the money is back in my account. My trip is creeping closer and I need to save everything I have. I also need to cancel my debit card soon to avoid further charges from these people. I can't even access the account, they never emailed me my password. But the girl sounded nice, (as in, does that even matter anymore), and seemed very willing to fix the error. I'm really hoping that no other funds are going to be drawn from my account for a completely useless service that I can't even access.

I have my 2nd laser removal session tomorrow: not really looking forward to it. Now that I know what to expect, it's pretty bad. My hand will be pretty swollen for about 4-5 days, w/ blisters. Not
pretty. Takes about 2 weeks to heal.

I'm not sure if I should even bother getting my hair done before going back East. I thought about getting lighter brown highlights. I need to get some boots, though, and a warm coat that doesn't make me look like a penguin.

I don't know why people my age are in a mad race to have children. I guess it's not for everyone.

I just can't imagine doing that to my body. I feel like I've missed the boat sometimes, as if I have a hazy image of how my life would have been if my mother hadn't died 12 years ago. I don't know, really. Probably a lot different. I don't think I would have gone through some phases I went through in my later teens, early twenties. It's really hard to process extreme tragedy for children.
I'm not sure how adults don't understand that. I think I chose not to even try to process it,I ignored it for as long as I could until I felt emotions that were too hard to deal with, too hard to ignore. I guess it was going to happen eventually. You can't live in denial forever.

I'm not really sure when it was in my life that people who came into it were actively trying tohurt me in some kind of way. I suppose after my dad died, then after my mom died, it was like,you're alone. There is no responsible adult who really cares about you, your future, or the decisions you make. It's much more complex to raise children once they are almost legal adults. I feel like my development from adolescent to adult just never really happened sometimes.