Limbo Land

The past 2 weeks have been somewhat transitory for me, and I've been taking it out on my hair. Petty and unimportant information, yes, but I have nothing else major happening in my life right now. I originally tried to do this ombre thing that didn't happen. It came out orange-ish and one side was higher than the other. I wanted to love this salon I had been going to in the Mission, Pretty Pretty Collective, but the past 2 times were so lackluster and the results were not at all close to what I wanted, so that place is done for me. I think it's hipster element is overshadowing the fact that there are a lot of under-talented people working there or something. I went to another salon and they gave me much better highlights that was much closer to what I had been going for. But the bleach killed part of my hair, and after trying to adopt new ways of styling my hair for about a week, I realized it was better to just cut if off. I'm a little hair-shocked right now, but another 6 months and it will be back to the length I want it at. I'm going to go blonder too, in the next few months. And I found someone cool to do my hair, finally. It's hard to find someone in San Francisco who is non-pretentious and such. In my opinion. I spoke to my sister today, but she sounded so irritated it kind of hurt my feelings. I'm too sensitive sometimes, and I don't think it was me, more likely her job stressing her out. I feel like sometimes she's hoping I move away from California. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I can't say I would blame her. She helped me get on my feet out here and has always been there for me if I am in a pickle or need help with some extra money. And she's been very generous with my past few Christmases and birthdays, too. Maybe it would be better to leave and make a clean break. I'm not in love with California, I never have been, really. I find it to be an almost cruel, somewhat vicious place full of a lot of violence and twisted types of people. Let me touch on another topic here. I'm not the prettiest person in the world. Not even close. In fact, if I don't wear makeup and have my hair done, I look pretty fucking ugly. And I have a kind of unique look, maybe. Not like every other girl. That still doesn't make it any easier when I look up and see someone rudely staring at me with this look of question on their face, as if they are witnessing something so ugly they can't believe it, or whatever. I'm not that pretty, but still, don't be a fucking rude asshole, or rude assholes. It happens too much sometimes. I should go back to my anorexic days, at least being too thin detracts from a less than precisely symmetrical beauty. Work is sucking so bad. Sucking the life from my bones!!! I'm starting to hate it. I really hate some of the people I have to talk to, the rude douches, and the awful graveyard shift schedule. That's it for now, I want to go home and rest.

Went to the bank today. Some girl who looked like she is not yet 21 waited on me. So after I leave, I notice on the receipt that part of my deposit was entered massively wrong. I go back in and am given a round of 'we're so sorrys' and 'please wait for a few minutes of the counter' and 'well, we have to recount the cash because we secretly think maybe you're lying'...yada yada yada. This isn't the first time I've had problems with this branch of the Fargo. They fixed that shit up, and rightly so, and I was on my way. But still, how annoying, right? I know you have to account for human error at times, and I've experienced my share of disgruntled and unhappy customers in the land of customer service, so I was nice. I know how it is to be on the other end. But please don't fuck it up next time, Fargo. As of late, I've been trying to save my money in the old savings account that has been collecting dust. It's been working out, so I'm hoping by this time next year I'll have a nice little cushion so that I can move away from the Bay Area. By Summer 2013, I will have been living here for 6 long, sometimes sad, sometimes boring, sometimes peaceful years. Maybe at that point, I will just want to stay and keep doing what I'm doing, but I really miss parts of the East. I think Philadelphia might be a good place to end up. I can take the train up to NYC anytime, maybe on a day off, or for a weekend, instead of a 5 hour plane ride. I could go visit my aunt for the holidays or for a day or two. I could see my other niece occasionally. We'll see. But I'm hoping that I can save at least 7-8 grand by July 2013. To some, that is pathetic and sad. To others, it is their reality. Is my reality. I posted this lovely photo op of a classic hoopty because I'm going to be needing to purchase one soon. Maybe not with the huge rims attached, but I'll need some kind of old car to drive to and from work in. My office is moving out of the city, and most people are kind of annoyed and inconvenienced. I still have yet to take a dress-rehearsal commute over to the new location. I'm hoping I can at least get there via the subway. Working these inhuman hours is a pain in the ass already, without the added grievance of uncertain public transit times. But of course, your employers never really care about any of that. So if I'm really productive I will haul the laundry hamper containing about 50 lbs of laundry down three flights of stairs to the laundromat across the street, then might be bothered by some scary looking dude or dudes, then back home. I'll just save it for tomorrow morning. Today is about relaxation. I did my food shopping and some cleaning yesterday. I'm just going to go home soon, eat lunch, and relax and don't it.